Welcome to Week 4 of The Sound/Mind Experiment.
You can catch up with week 3 here.
Week 4 brought on some definite changes.
I mentioned last week that I made a decision that I had been waffling about for two years. Decision making has always been my bottleneck in life. I agonize over it and put myself into paralysis over the worry that I’m going to make the wrong choice. I can’t even add up how much time I’ve lost to this.
Well this week I went on a bit of a decision making rampage. It was as if I didn’t need to give anything any thought. Just yes or no… straight from the gut. All week long. No agonizing. No fear. No worry. No regret.
It was freedom. (For me.)
My significant other mentioned (a few times) that I was slightly difficult to be around. And by slightly I mean extremely.
It’s all hazy now, but I think I was making decisions for anyone who came near me last week.
This week I’m trying to soften things a little and keep the decision making to my own life.
Week 4 also brought on a new fixation with my posture. For you Providers reading this, I’ve been in the Green Zone for Week 3 and 4.
Spending so much time behind a computer wreaks havoc on the body. My doctor told me that my shoulders were rounding and that I needed to do some exercises to counter the hours hunched over the keyboard.
The problem was that I always forgot to do them.
It’s a subtle change, but this week I found myself straightening my posture and walking much taller than normal.
The organizing and downsizing is still going strong. My home looks like a tornado hit, but with each section I clear out I feel lighter and lighter.
As I’m typing this, I’m staring into a half empty closet in the office. Two weeks ago the thing was so packed that I couldn’t get the doors to open fully. Now, there’s not enough ‘stuff’ to fill it back up.
I’ve had a lot of questions about my mood. It’s very stable. Looking back at my notes I’ve had one bad day in 4 weeks. I packed too much into my schedule and ran myself down.
I’m normally a very quiet and calm person. Always seem to be in my own mind. I’m not overly peppy or energetic. This has all stayed the same so far.
Last week was interesting and I will be watching for more of this: I had a couple of serious issues come up with work. The types of things that will ruin your day, your evening and keep you up at night. In both cases I just paused for a while, decided how I was going to handle it and went on with my day.
My words aren’t doing it justice.
If you were sitting next to me, you would have thought I had checked out. Didn’t care. Except that I did. I could just compartmentalize for pretty much the first time in my life.
I remember thinking while it was happening that this was so bizarre but also so very awesome.
October 5
Session: 9:12am
Back to a normal work schedule this week, so I am back to morning listening. Heard ducks or geese on the nature track so I’m loving that. Returned to the coloring book. Chose a pencil that I thought would be mint green. Turns out it’s neon lime green. The perfectionist in me would have ripped up the page and started over with a new one. Today I went with the ugly green. This may not sound like a big deal, but letting go and just accepting the process instead of worrying about the outcome is a huge step for me.
October 6
Session: 10:42am
Very calm today. Painted my nails instead of coloring and just really sat with the music. I needed the break.
October 7
Session: 11:11am
After last week’s sugar party, I am heading back into ketosis, and am dealing with withdrawal. I’m sporting the all day headache so just getting through this training was impressive.
October 8
Session: 9:13pm
Very long work day. It’s days like this that I’m grateful all I have to do is put on a pair of headphones to train.
October 9
Session: 3:46pm
Calm and easy Friday session. Brought out the coloring book and only broke one pencil tip today.
