This is the Week Seven update of The Sound/Mind Experiment.
You can read the Week Six update by clicking here.
This week was all about intense clarity. A kind of reckoning where you can no longer ignore your role in creating your present reality.
I saw a quote the other day. It said, “You get what you tolerate.”
It’s a deceptively simple sentence.
I’m an over-giver. I’ll bet the farm you are too.
I have always attracted people like you.
We give and give and over-deliver and undercharge and run ourselves into the ground in our need to serve.
As I mentioned back in the first week of this experiment, this year brought me to my knees.
God, the Universe, Source, Spirit, Life – what ever you choose to call it – will do that to you if you refuse to slow down and listen.
I had to take a hard look at a pattern I created for myself: exhaustion from spreading myself too thin.
Alex warned me that moving into the red zone of training might bring up conflict…
…that I might find myself short with people, irritated.
And that I did.
Slowly throughout the last several weeks of training I have been cleaning out my closets.
Literally and figuratively.
This week forced me to draw some hard lines with people… including myself.
I knew there was going to be friction during this process, and there was.
(Get ready for that because it’s not awesome.)
But even with the friction, the people who were meant to be in my life made it through. A few scratches but they are fine.
And I am fine too.
It can be tough to look inside and see how we create hardship and struggle for ourselves.
We all do it.
And the struggle, the patterns, the self sabotage are slick. So slick.
Let’s take Option A: this beautiful but scary thing I would like to do. And now Option B: the safe, ‘grown-up’ thing I no longer want to do.
I can think of a dozen very rational reasons why I should choose Option B when I know in my heart I need to choose Option A. It’s the rationalization that trips us up.
This mighty brain of ours has developed highly efficient ways to lure us back into our old comfort zone – our old patterns and habits – to prevent us from the pain of ‘what might be out there’.
It’s an outdated survival mechanism that kept our ancestors from getting eaten by tigers. I can give you a more thorough explanation another time, but for now, you get my point.
And so we believe ourselves. We even convince others that Option B is the way to go.
And we go through life repeating the same patterns. Over and over.
This year, I began choosing Option A.
And I watched as my brain betrayed me. Tried to convince me I was wrong. Made its argument so convincing that I fell for it. Again and again and again.
Until now.
When I am still and go within, I am always guided to the right path.
So, I am remembering to pause. To focus on my breath. To slow down and meditate. To listen.
I start my day connecting to my soul and to my purpose.
And I let the program continue its magic… clearing out the layers of fog and chaos.
October 26
Session: 8:57pm
Listening Zone: Red
Enjoying the break from the sound shaping. Very long day topped off with an added dose of conflict. Sleeping fine. Normal energy. No headaches.
October 27
Session: 9:12pm
Listening Zone: Red
The music is pretty intense but beautiful. Ended the day very late with one of my favorite clients so my mood is about as good as it gets. Funny thing, I decided to do TLP in my living room tonight and not 3 minutes into it, I moved onto the floor and pulled out all of the magazines from under the coffee table. Made three piles. 1) Keep 2) Throw out 3) Convince my significant other to throw out. Good to see the purge is still going strong.
October 28
Session: 8:07pm
Listening Zone: Red
Very sad news today. It’s the kind of day where you drop your head and use every bit of strength you have to keep from breaking in half.
October 29
Session: 10:22pm
Listening Zone: Red
This was my favorite music by far. Had to close my eyes and just listen so I wouldn’t miss any of it. I think I prefer the green and orange zones to the red, but I’ll see how it goes next week.
October 30
Session: 4:34pm
Listening Zone: Red
Did my listening today right before a late client session. Was hoping it would energize me at least a little and relieved to report it did.
As each week passes in this experiment, I am more and more certain that investing in the time to clear out the old pain, patterns and habits in order to restart life is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves.
